Scattered to the Wind
by Vampbarbie
Summary: A Reaver attack means the crew of Serenity is scattered to the 'verse, except Mal who goes down with his ship. This is their story. Now complete. Please review!
1. Letters, Pseudonyms and Grease Fairies

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

Text in italics is a flashback.

Set 6 years after FF as we know and love it. Serenity was attacked by Reavers; everyone escaped except Mal who stayed behind with his ship. Everyone else was lost and scattered to the winds. This is their story.

Scattered to the Wind

Chapter 1: Letters, Pseudonyms and Grease Fairies

Simon leant back in his chair, propped his feet on the coffee table and continued to read the medical journal in his hand. River came barrelling into the room clutching a handful of post.

"We have letters! All of us. Jayne's coming." She answered his question before he asked it.

She flung herself into a chair in their spacious lounge in their small house on the outer outer rim world, Tanulia. River threw the letters at him so he could look at them. She seemed so normal now that he almost couldn't remember when she hadn't been like this. The cocktail of drugs he gave her was working. She only had her 'moments' when she was really tired or sick or something.

He frowned at the writing, there was something familiar there but he couldn't quite place it. The names read Grace Scott and Dr. Ryan Scott – their aliases; sometimes he completely forgot their old names it had been so long.

Jayne entered the room and nodded to Simon. "So what's the post then?" Round his neck was a bright orange knitted scarf, and Simon didn't need to ask to know it was a Mama Cobb creation.

Simon flicked through the letters. He passed one to Jayne, and frowned at the other one. "Its for Book," a pause. "All the same handwriting."

Jayne looked up from the letter. "That's odd. Book's been dead nigh on three years now."

"I know that Jayne." Simon thought back to nursing the dying Shepard and shuddered inwardly.

Jayne shrugged good naturedly, and sat in the other chair in the room. It had taken a long time to work out where he and Simon stood with each other. But now they were firm friends. They had struggled with the lack of first Mal's mediation and then Book's. If it hadn't been for Book and River, Simon and Jayne would have come to blows long ago. What started off as an uneasy truce was now a strong friendship. Jayne kept up his smuggling business, buying and selling whatever came his way. Simon and River kept their heads down.

Jayne slit open his letter and squinted at the page. "Jayne… I know you ha…haven't changed. You still rush…headlong into situ…situations and you will with this. Come alone." He frowned at the page. "Its not signed. And there's a string of co-ordinates for Echo."

Simon and River opened their letters at the same time, and started reading. Simon started in shock. The first word on the page was 'Simon', despite his alias on the outside of the envelope. River finished first and looked up.

"What does yours say Simon?"

He read it out. "Simon. I know you'll be sceptical about this; it's in your nature. But this is in your best interests. I'm not Alliance so don't be worryin'." He showed Jayne the letter. "Same co-ordinates. No signature. River?"

"Dear River, I know you've taken care of your daft big brother and kept him out of mischief. Trust me, I know its hard but you should."

"Well this is mighty irregular," Jayne said.

Simon nodded, and dropped Book's letter on the table. "Do we go?"

Kaylee rolled over and squinted in the early morning sunlight. Someone was hollering her name downstairs.

"Kaylee!"

"Coming Mama," she cried back.

She sat up and yawned. She'd been dreaming. About a pink dress and a dance, so many years ago. She shook that thought away. It didn't do no good to think about those days. But she had, for years. Of Him. Of little River and even of Jayne. It was as if Serenity's second shuttle had melted from the face of the 'verse.

They'd gone back in Inara's shuttle for Mal and Serenity, but she was gone. No Reavers, nothing. No sign of Mal. It had been a week before they could get back. Zoë had voiced their fears. Mal was dead at Reaver hands and Serenity was now scrap metal or a Reaver ship. Kaylee remembered crying a lot back then. Without their captain they all seemed lost. Kaylee asked to come home. It was only meant to be temporary but now six years later she was still here. Working with her daddy when there was work to be done.

She had worked so hard to try and find the others, but she didn't really know where to look. Jayne had even kept himself off the Alliance wanted list. That wasn't like Jayne. That probably meant he was dead. And if Jayne was dead, what hope did Simon and River have? She'd seen the wanted bulletins in town for the Tams, but they were old, not updated. River, all wide-eyed and afraid. Simon looking every inch the upper class good boy. She prayed so hard that the Alliance didn't have them. There had been other men in those intervening years, but nothing concrete. Her parents bugged her about never finding the 'right' man, truth was she had, but he was gone. Lost to the 'verse, and her, forever.

Kaylee felt tears brimming in her eyes and brushed at them angrily. These people were long dead; crying now wouldn't bring them back.

Kaylee shoved the covers off her, and padded downstairs in her pyjamas. These consisted of a pair of drawstring trousers, striped in purples and a pink strappy top. She kissed her mama on the cheek, who handed her a letter. This in itself wasn't strange. Zoë and Wash sent her letters all the time, she knew where they were living; Inara was harder to track down with her work but she always sent Kaylee pretty things from her travels.

Kaylee glanced at the writing on the envelope, it seemed familiar but she didn't pay it much heed. She ripped it open with her usual exuberance and scanned the letter.

'Kaylee, mei mei. I don't want you to be alone anymore. I want you to see tranquillity, one last time.'


	2. Letters, Dinosaurs and Mirrors

Glad you're all liking it. I always saw a possibility for friendship between Jayne and Simon. Here's two more chapters to tide you over until I get back from my holiday!

Chapter 2: Letters, Dinosaurs and Mirrors

Wash picked two-year old Malcolm out of the pool of cereal on the galley floor. He grinned at his son and set him in his high chair. Around them the _Dinosaur_, his name choice for their ship, hummed quietly in standby mode. He wiped his hands on the front of his Hawaiian shirt and picked up the spoon of Mal's food.

"Open up for the space ship," he said, flying the spoon towards his mouth.

Mal's mouth remained obstinately shut.

"Open up for daddy."

Heavy boot steps signalled the approach of Zoë.

"Hello wife," he said with a grin, putting down the spoon. "Any good post?"

She held out a single letter silently and didn't respond to his wife jibe. Wash stared at her. Her face was pale and she looked afraid.

"Zoë?"

She shook her head as though in a trance. "It can't be," she muttered.

Wash snatched the letter, suddenly terribly frightened. He read the address; it was the usual Mr. and Mrs. He slowly opened it and unfolded the paper inside.

He slowly read it out loud, his brow crumpled in thought.

" 'Dear Zoë, and Wash'. Hey I'm an afterthought!"

Zoë couldn't even raise a smile.

He continued. "I have walked in the shadow of the valley of death. I have seen the darkness in my soul and I have redeemed myself."

He looked at Zoë with wide eyes, and reeled off the coordinates.

"That's Echo Zoë. Who the hell would write a cryptic letter sending us to Echo?"

"Ghosts," she said her mouth barely moving. "Ghosts."

Wash stared at her, Zoë didn't believe in ghosts. She believed in things she could shoot.

"They're ghosts," she repeated. "Ghosts."

Inara brushed out her long dark curls before the mirror in her room in the guild house on Persephone. She saw a sadness in those eyes. Inara didn't like to think back to the things which had caused that sadness. Nigh on six years ago now. She knew Kaylee still thought of those things, those people. Kaylee still scanned every face in every crowd, looking for a handsome doctor, a crazy girl, a preacher and a hardened mercenary. Inara was more realistic. If they had escaped the Reavers, then the Alliance was hard on their trails. And if not the Alliance then plenty of other things could have befallen the four. Jayne might be hard, but he was rash and impulsive and lacked the most basic common sense. She tried not to think about what might have happened to them nowadays. And she never spoke about them to Kaylee.

A younger companion knocked on the open door and entered.

"A letter Inara."

"Thank you," she took the letter and nodded to the younger girl, who left the room.

Inara picked up a silver letter opener and slit the letter neatly. She pulled it out with perfectly manicured nails and let her eyes scan the page.

"My mêilì Inara. Zhè bìng bù huài. I didn't realise it would end like this. If you want to hear the hush again meet me here. Echo 23-46-78."

She frowned at the letter, reread it and laid it neatly on the dressing table. Inara tapped her nails on the table, thinking about the letter. It wasn't the normal thing suitors wrote to her. She was intrigued.

At that moment a head poked round the doorframe.

"Inara? You have a wave. Its Kaylee," the woman said with a grin.

"Thank you Salla."

All the companions knew about Inara's dear little Kaylee, her almost sister.

Inara went and answered.

"Hello mei mei."

"Inara? I got a strange letter…."


	3. Whatever our souls are made of…

Chapter 3: Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of...

Jayne, Simon and River had travelled to Echo on a public transport ship. Now they were at the rendezvous point, sat astride three magnificent chestnut horses. Echo consisted of scrubby grassland, and they were in the middle of a bowl shaped valley.

"Don't ruttin' like this," Jayne grumbled. "Perfect place for an ambush."

Simon glanced over at River who sat on her horse like a noblewoman of old. A long fur trimmed coat protected her from the icy wind that blew across them. Simon pulled his long dark grey wool coat a bit tighter around his body, and shivered. Night was beginning to fall.

Jayne didn't seem to notice the cold, or if he did he wasn't saying. Jayne rested his hand on a long shot gun that he had draped across the front of the saddle. He saw Simon's look and patted it.

"Can't be too careful. Sophie here will take care of us."

Simon knew that Jayne probably had a succession of other guns secreted about his person.  
He shrugged. He was more intrigued about who had written the note.

"It was family. Family are all coming," River suddenly spoke up. "For a party."

Simon stared over at her. River's eyes were bright and she was staring off into middle distance. She didn't say things like this anymore.

"Good time for her to give us all the heebie-jeebies doc."

Somewhere in the distance they heard the sound of a vehicle approaching.

Inara noted to herself that Wash's piloting was much better than his driving as they bounced over yet another pothole. Next to her Kaylee hung on to the inside handle of the off-road vehicle, looking rather sick. Between them baby Mal lay fast asleep. Probably used to his dad's driving.

"Heads up people, we're here," Wash called from the front seat. "And we're not alone."

Wash turned the lights off and stopped the vehicle, a few dozen yards from the actual rendezvous.

"Stay here," Zoë snapped at Kaylee and Inara grabbing a gun. She and Wash leapt out of the vehicle.

Kaylee pulled a face. "I want to see who sent those note."

She followed them. Inara sighed and went after her. Mal would be safer here.

Kaylee scrambled after Wash and Zoë. Then she saw them, three figures on horseback silhouetted in the dusk.

In six more strides she saw exactly who was pointing weapons at them, and who Zoë and Wash were aiming right back at. There was a very long silence and then several voices interrupted and overlapped each other.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Bù kê néng!"

"You!"

"Wode tìan..."

Kaylee stared up at them and felt her mouth drop open. This couldn't be real. They were supposed to be dead. If they were dead it was easier.


	4. His and Mine are the Same

Here you are chapters 4 and 5, since I'm back from sunny Spain. Hope you enjoy! And keep reviewing!

Italics are flashbacks.

Chapter 4: ...His and Mine Are the Same

Kaylee stared up at them and felt her mouth drop open. This couldn't be real. They were supposed to be dead. If they were dead it was easier. Easier to forget. Easier to forgive six years...Simon. It was Simon. He still wore a white shirt, black vest and black trousers, under the long coat. His hair was longer, more hanging in his eyes. The white shirt a little more open at the neck. But he was still the doctor she remembered. And now he was holding out a silver pistol, aimed straight at Wash. He was a doctor, he shouldn't have a gun.

It was River who broke the dead lock, by leaping off her horse in one swift easy movement and running between them, crying to Simon, "Look I told you! Family!"

Simon stared at his sister and holstered his gun. He wore a holster low down on his right hip. He nods to Jayne who reluctantly lowered the wicked looking shotgun he held. Simon climbed off his own horse and Jayne followed. Then he glanced up and he met her eyes. There was a long moment.

"_I don't ruttin' care Kaylee. Go! Get the doc and his sister to a shuttle! Now!"_

_Mal never yelled at Kaylee. She threw him a terrified glance back over her shoulder and ran towards the last place she'd seen Simon. She rounded a corner and entered the main hold on one of the raised gangways. It was full of smoke. Jayne had blown up the stairs. Reavers. There were Reavers down below. Reavers shrieking for their blood. Kaylee felt her skin creep. Then she came to a screeching halt. Part of the gangway was missing. On the far side stood Simon, River clinging to his arm, screaming like a banshee. Jayne was near them, firing Vera down into the Reavers below. _

_Simon looked up and their eyes locked. He realised in that instant all the might have beens and cursed himself. But part of him also realised that he didn't think he would ever see this girl again. He felt sick. Around them the gunfire and the screaming, the smoke and the fire faded away and all he could see was her. And Kaylee was crying. _

_Kaylee stared back at him. This wasn't happening. She couldn't get to him. And now Jayne was grabbing at Simon's free arm and yelling in his ear. _

"_We gotta gorram go doc! Get your ass to that shuttle dong ma?"_

_Jayne was dragging at River and Simon, and they were stumbling backwards, away from the gap, away from her._

"_Simon!"_

_Simon's eyes had never left her._

"_Wo ai ni," he said, barely loudly enough for her to hear. But she heard. He knew she had. He didn't know why he said it, what had possessed him at that moment._

_Kaylee watched them vanish round the corner, then turned tail and ran._

Kaylee walked forward towards him. Everyone watched her with baited breath.

"Simon…" she breathed softly. Then she raised her hand and delivered a stinging slap to his cheek. "How dare you! I thought you were dead!"

The handprint was reddening on his cheek. He didn't move, just looked at her with sad eyes. Disappointed eyes. The Simon of old would have flinched, probably put his hand to his face.

"I know Kaylee. I'm sorry." He looked round at the others who were staring at him. "Who wrote the letters?"

There was deafening silence. Finally Zoë spoke up. "If no one sent those letters then…."

She broke off as a loud hungry baby scream broke from the vehicle. Jayne jumped, and half pulled the shotgun back up.

"What the hell?"

Wash ran back to the vehicle and returned, baby in arms.

"You had a baby?" Simon gaped, thinking that Zoë was the least maternal woman he'd ever met.

"Yeah," Wash grinned widely. "Meet Mal Washburn."

* * *

Six years. It was a lot of catching up to do. They sat round a bonfire for warmth as the wind whipped at them icily. They still sat in two 'camps' though, one either side of the fire. Simon explained what had happened to Shepard Book. How he'd taken sick and died, despite everything Simon did. They shared the letters they had been sent. Wash and Zoë enthused about little Mal. Simon explained why River was better, what cocktail of drugs kept her sane.

_Screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. Things crawling in her skin. Hands on her. Simon…Simon like a rock to cling to in a storm. Then other hands dragging at him. Simon didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. He wanted to die. He wants to die with the taste of strawberries on his lips._

_Other hands, pulling on her, rough hands. _

"_Run gorramit."_

_They're the only words that pierce the fog of her brain._

_She's running. Feels like Simon's gone. His body is there but he's not in it. Big brother's been swept away. _

_She's blown like leaves on the wind. Dancing. They're dancing, all four of them. Then you drop hands and there's no more dancing. Then rough hands are smoothing her hair down as she screams. Not Simon's hands. No screaming. No touching. These hands don't listen. No touching guns. They've already been there._

"Why didn't you go back?" Inara finally asked.

"We couldn't. We had gorram Reavers on our tails. By the time we lost 'em we had barely enough fuel to land. We made it to Tanulia and just laid low. Couldn't risk the Alliance finding these two," Jayne said, nodding to the Tam's. "Did you go back?"

"Yes," Kaylee nodded, biting her lip. "And she was gone. Serenity was gone. There weren't no bits."

"_We got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?"_

"_Big damn heroes, sir."_

"_Ain't we just."_

_Zoë stared out at the empty space. Mal couldn't have taken Serenity on his own. He needed Wash to pilot and Kaylee to keep her going. He was dead, he had to be. He couldn't do it alone. She knew he couldn't. _

"_Where is she?" Kaylee said panicked behind her._

"_Gone."_

"_No…" _

"_Serenity is scrap metal Kaylee."_

"_Don't say that!"_

"_The captain is dead. Accept it."_

_Wash looked at his wife in shock at her coldness._

"_Zoë…" _

"_He's dead. Gorram Reavers took him. Now we get out of here dong ma?"_

_Wash only realised that it was self-preservation when she turned away from a crying Kaylee and caught his eye. Zoë's eyes were haunted and he knew. She was hurting and he didn't know what to do to help. She was trying to stay in control. Save them all, be a big damn hero. Come home with the stories._

_He looked down, away. He couldn't stop his wife's pain, couldn't understand it. _

_Wash didn't know what to say. He cursed himself for being the funny one. He was useless in a crisis. So he just headed back to the bridge. Inara sat staring out, tears running silently down her face. Wash slid an arm around her shoulders, gave her a one armed hug. It was nowhere near enough, but for now it was all he could do._

"_He didn't need to go down with his ship. I told him that, I told him…" she trailed off softly. _

"_I know. But Mal was the captain. Always."_

* * *

Translation: Wo ai ni - I love you 


	5. People will never forget how you made th

Chapter 5: People will never forget how you made them feel

Finally they split off into smaller groups, twos and threes, talking. Trying to relate to the virtual strangers they thought they knew. River sat with Wash holding baby Mal, and cooing over him. She was softly singing a lullaby that carried clearly on the night air. Wash nodded along, his eyes half closed.

Zoë nodded to Jayne, "Didn't see you as the high protector of our little lost lambs."

He looked up questioningly.

"Why did you stick around?"

"Because Mal would have done."

_I got stupid and the money was too good._

"Gotta do the right thing sometimes," Jayne shrugged. "Its like family now. You get used to the stuck up doc and his crazy sister. Not that she's crazy now. Doc's good. She's like a normal…genius…mind reading girl."

Kaylee and Simon found themselves looking at each other. He cleared his throat, feeling awkward again.

"I…"

"Kay…"

They both said at the same time. There was another long awkward pause.

"You start," Simon said eventually.

"You're not dead."

"No," he said softly.

"I told myself you were dead. If you were dead I was meant to forget you. I could move on…"

"I'm so sorry…I…we…we didn't know what to do. Jayne said we should hide out, wait. Then no one came. You didn't come." Simon remembered those first few terrified days. "We fought with each other and screamed at Jayne, made plans that came to nothing. We had no money, no fuel. The shuttle wasn't going anywhere. Then Jayne started working again, just to get enough money to leave. He kept below radar. It became our routine. We just changed our names and melted away. Dr Ryan Scott and his younger sister Grace. It became our life. Far enough from the Core that no one cared. No one missed us…"

"I missed you," Kaylee said softly. "I still looked for you, you know. I saw the cortex warrants for you and River. I had your face looking at me from town. And I still looked for you. I thought maybe one day you would walk up to my house and…" she stopped. He seemed harder somehow, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Something in his eyes.

Simon suddenly had a flashback – Canton, waking up, hung over, with her lying on his chest. He hadn't realised he'd missed her so much. But what could he say?

"Simon you're alive and you didn't even send me a wave to tell me. None of you told us anything. We didn't know a gorram thing." Kaylee's face was twisted with pain. "That was worse, the not knowin'."

Simon couldn't speak past the lump in his throat.

Around them the desert had gone dark, and the bonfire crackled. The horses grunted and shifted restlessly. Slowly everyone had drawn back to the fire. Zoë has reclaimed baby Mal from River, who now sits close to Jayne. Jayne pokes the fire with a stick, and tries not to think about the heat from the girl next to him. Six gorram years and he's still too scared of Dr Tam to make a move on his crazy sister.

_Jayne's running. He's got fire at his heels and Vera in his lap, and he's running. The shuttle screams as he pushes the accelerator that bit further. Kaylee would kill him for pushing the shuttle too far, too fast. That is…if she…Jayne slammed his mind on that thought. When the moment took him, he could think a lot. He didn't want to think now._

_Flying would be a whole lot easier without that feng kuang girl screaming. _

_But Reavers…He wouldn't have been Mal for all the gold in the 'verse. There was just something about those non-men that was downright disturbing. Jayne would never admit it but they scared him witless. _

_Shepard was praying. _

"_Lord God, please surround me with favour as with a shield today. Lord, please strengthen your wall of protection around me, keeping me safe from temptation of the flesh, tricks of the Adversary, and all harm. Lord, please fill my thoughts with Your thoughts and let my words be your words. You are my strength, my shield and my defence, O Lord. Thank You, Lord, in Jesus name I pray, Amen"_

"_Pray for faster engines Shepard!" Jayne yelled over his shoulder._

_Book just nodded._

_Simon was sat, staring at nothing. Looking like he was in shock. Jayne wasn't the gorram doctor but he'd seen guys go like this before. Simon's eyes were blank. He didn't move, didn't speak. Hadn't said a word this whole gorram escape. Not even soothed his sister. Just let her scream. Now that wasn't right. _

Wash smiles at his family. Inara worries about why they're all here, but keeps a smile on her face, keeps up the mask. Simon only has eyes for Kaylee, how her thick hair curls about her chin. But she stares into the fire, tears glinting at the back of her eyes, threatening to fall but never quite making it past the lashes.

"Is there someone else?" she whispers to Simon, sideways out of her mouth, not looking at him. "Do you have a sweetie back home?"

Everyone else heard of course, but pretended they hadn't.

"I…uh…that is…I did see one girl but…I couldn't…we couldn't…." Simon hated himself for stuttering shyly over every word. For gorram's sake he'd told this girl that he'd sat naked upon a statue singing. "She didn't even know my real name. How bout you? I'm sure you ain't been sat around six years."

Kaylee shot him a hurt look and he felt terrible.

"No one that mattered. You can't just tell me you love me and disappear, it don't work like that Simon."

"I don't know how it works Kaylee."

He reaches forward and touches her cheek. Caresses it gently. Surgeon's hands on her. Surgeon's hands that hold guns.

"I never did. You know that," his voice is soft.

He leans into her and sees her close her eyes.


	6. Birthdays Never Run Smoothly

Have Chapter6 - its a tiny tiny chapter just because I'm a tease and haven't organised the end chapters yet. And a new story is clamouring for my attention too. Review and I may feel flattered into getting my ass in gear and posting the rest!

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Chapter 6: Birthdays Never Run Smoothly

He leans into her and sees her close her eyes.

Overhead a sudden roaring. Bright lights. A tornado. The bonfire swirls around them. Wash is shielding his wife and baby. Jayne's is cursing loudly as flames lick at him. Then it dies, with a crackle and the wind. Snuffed out like a candle. Simon and Kaylee's heads jerk up, apart, like always.

River starts muttering, "Candles. It's like a birthday. A family party. And now daddy's home…"

Bright lights above them meaning that they can't quite see what's above them. A roaring sound that makes them cover their ears.

Kaylee is staring upwards, a look somewhere between horror and wonder on her face. "No no no no no…." she keeps repeating the word, until Simon grabs her hand.

"What is it?"

River's voice is a hushed whisper but everybody hears.

"Serenity."


	7. Strangers and Secrets

I'm not that much of a tease :-) After this I think its just one chapter to go. It may spawn a sequel I'm not sure yet. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7: Strangers and Secrets

Jayne has his shotgun raised as the cargo bay doors open. Malcolm Reynolds is dead. He died six years ago. Probably gorram Reavers. But Reavers weren't that smart. This trap was too elaborate. Niska's men? Last Jayne had heard, they were nowhere near here. He tenses his grip on the gun.

"Get out here you hwoon dahn!" He yells as the ramp drops.

Zoë is backing away, looking afraid. Baby Mal clutched to her chest. Wash looks torn; does he follow her or his curiosity? Zoë was never afraid. He doesn't know what to do. Finally he takes up his gun and stands in front of his family. They're more important than any ship could ever be.

Kaylee grips Simon's hand until her knuckles go white. She staring open mouthed at the ship, before rising to her feet in a trance like state. Simon stands too but won't let go of her hand, even though she's crushing his, won't let her run for Serenity.

"Simon its Serenity! It's her! It really is!"

"Kaylee wait here." He looks at her, blue eyes sharp, and draws his gun. He advances to stand by Jayne.

Kaylee pulls a face but stays put. She knows its Serenity but something tells her to stay where she is. An edge in his voice, a flash in his eyes. Simon is a harder man than the one who told her he loved her all those years ago.

The cargo bay door is getting lower. Slowly, grinding, as though it hasn't been oiled in years. Kaylee winces.

"Serenity, tranquillity, calmness, stillness, grace, peace…we all need peace Simon. Even you," River singsongs at him.

"River ssshh!" he snaps, uncharacteristically, wondering why the drugs aren't working.

"Don't be snapping at River Simon," Jayne butts in without taking his eyes off the door. "Ain't her fault we're gorram crazy for being here."

Inara is staring all wide eyed. Her opulent gown is blowing around her body, wrapping against her legs, and her red lips are moving and no sound is coming out. Maybe it's a prayer, Kaylee thinks. To Shepard Book's God. Dear God…She wonders how it came to be that the good doctor became the first line of defence alongside Jayne. How Zoë is staring afraid and hiding behind Wash. Wonders how they all came to this.

The cargo bay door hits the ground with a heavy thump.

_Jayne grabs a second bread roll as the basket crosses the table to Book. He grins and takes a big bite, spitting crumbs onto the table. Inara rolls her eyes at his lack of manners. Simon holds a chair out for Kaylee as she walks over with a bowl of real vegetables. That last job had gone real well. Real vegetables, they're a million times better than protein. She gives him a big smile and sets the bowl down. Then sits and joins in the conversation. One of Zoë's war stories. Not one with maiming. One about Mal's ability to sleep through a mortar attack._

_River has pulled her knees up to her chest and is picking at the food with her fingers._

"_River don't do that…" Simon starts. _

"_She ain't bothering no one doc," Mal says from the head of the table. He gestures with a bread roll towards his second in command, "And Zoë you know full well I had concussion that night."_

"_That's not how she tells it cap'n" Kaylee grins. _

_Wash laughs loudly. "Yeah sir. She says you had a little too much local wine with local girls."_

"_Really Mal, you know what happens when you drink with local girls," Inara chided. Implying a lot but saying no more._

"_That's why whores is better," Jayne says with a grin._

_Inara throws him a sharp look, and Simon rolls his eyes. _

"_I hate all of you. Next port I'm hiring a new crew." Mal says._

"_I love my cap'n," Kaylee leans over and gives him a peck on the cheek. _

_Mal rubs her hair affectionately. He leans back in his chair and surveys his crew. Life was good, things were going well._

It wasn't him. It couldn't be him. Inara's mind was racing. Her head was swimming. She clasped her hands together to her mouth, feeling her ornate gold rings dig in to her skin.

Jayne's finger tightened on the trigger of the shotgun and he stares in horror at the figure standing at the head of the ramp.

Wash started babbling, "Shen sheng de gao wan! This isn't happening…can't be happening. Not real, not real."

Zoë's face was drained of all blood and she looked like she might faint. Simon's gun arm dropped slowly to his side, pistol just hanging there.

Kaylee looked up at the man before them. "Cap'n?" she murmured before fainting clean away into the dust.

And River just runs forward and throws herself into a surprised man's arms.

* * *

Translation Notes

hwoon dahn – son of a bitch

shen sheng de gao wan - Holy testicle Tuesday


	8. God Grant Me Serenity

Thanks for all the reviews. Well here it is, the very last chapter sob There may be a sequel if reader demand wants it (Review and tell me!)

* * *

Chapter 8: God Grant Me Serenity

"Well what you all starin' at?"

"You're not real, you're dead!" Wash finally throws at the man's question.

"Not as a rule no."

"River! Get back here!" Jayne snaps, his shotgun held high.

"I won't!" She yells back hanging onto the man's hand.

Simon is knelt at Kaylee's side, gently patting her face. He takes her pulse expertly with one hand, without even looking to find the artery. Her eyes flicker open and she blinks a couple of times. "Was that..?"

"No." Simon says coolly, standing up. He advances, his pistol aimed between the man's eyes. He holds his free hand out to his sister. "This man isn't Captain Reynolds whatever you think River."

"Anyone mind asking me in all this?"

"No." Jayne and Simon say flatly at the same time.

"Well well, the doc's all grown up and grown himself a pair."

"Shut up." Simon's pistol never even wavered. "Who are you?"

"You know full well who I am Simon," his voice was annoyed now. He walked down the ramp towards them, limping slightly.

Finally Inara ran forward.

"Mal?" her voice trembled as she reached out a hand for him, slightly nervously. As though she thinks he might break if she touches him.

A long ugly scar puckered its way down his face, running from his left temple to his jawbone. Another scar about an inch long created a line down his right cheek. His brown hair was shot through with grey now. His brown duster had seen much better days.

He managed to grin widely.

"I see the whoring is treating you well."

"Oh Mal." She flung her arms round him.

Then Kaylee was there, bundling into the hug which sent the three of them flying back to sit in the dirt. Kaylee kissed Mal full on the lips. Simon felt a flash of annoyance. Kaylee had slapped him. She wasn't slapping Mal. But he holstered his gun, albeit roughly.

Eventually Mal untangled himself from the two girls and pulled himself back to his feet.

Wash laid his gun on the ground and walked forward. "Mal. Hey." He held out his hand. They shook hands firmly.

"Where's my first mate?" he looks round hopefully.

Zoë edged forward slowly, and Mal's eyes widened. "A baby?" he looked at Wash then back to Zoë. "You guys had a baby?"

"We named him after you," Zoë's eyes were filling with tears, as she brought the baby to him. Mal pulls her to him carefully and she hugs him back with one arm.

"God Mal, I missed you," she whispers in his ear before pulling away again.

Mal stared down at the baby in stunned wonderment then said quietly, "You really did believe I was dead…"

Kaylee nodded crying freely. "And that Serenity was scrap metal."

Jayne lowered his gun, letting it hang at his side. "Ruttin' hell Mal. Way to scare a man."

"Nice to see you alive Jayne."

Jayne nodded back. "Likewise Mal."

Simon frowned sceptically, hating the fact that he wasn't overjoyed by the Captain's return. "So how did you escape?"

_Inara's shuttle burst away from Serenity and Mal felt as if part of his heart was flying with them. Inara and little Kaylee. _

_Then the second shuttle went, and the Reaver ship followed. 'Fly fast Jayne Cobb,' he thought. 'Fly fast.'_

_As far as he could guess there were three or four Reavers trapped in the cargo bay. Jayne's inventive explosives had kept them trapped there long enough for the others to escape. He hefted the shotgun, pressed into his hands by Jayne before he left, in one hand, and the bag of explosives in the other. He prayed that he didn't rupture Serenity's hull. Kaylee would kill him._

Kaylee started to head up the ramp.

"Kaylee don't…." Mal leapt to stop her but she was too quick for him.

She stopped at the top and stared round the cargo bay in horror. She uttered a tiny squeaking noise of disbelief that made the others come to look. The walls were blackened and most of the walkways were twisted hunks of metal. At various points ladders and planks of wood had been laid between them to provide access.

"What's happened to Serenity? Cap'n what have you done to her?"

"I'm sorry mei mei…I couldn't fix her up. It was hard enough to keep her going…get here." Mal's head drooped. "It wasn't the crash course in ship maintenance or flying I wanted." He looked tired.

Kaylee snuffled, as a tear worked its way down her cheek. "Why didn't you tell us?" She wiped her nose with her hand, until Simon handed her a clean handkerchief. She smiled gratefully at him. "Why didn't you come for us?"

"How could I Kaylee? Mei mei…" Mal rubbed a hand on her shoulder. "I thought you'd be happy," he glanced at Simon. "I thought you'd be together…"

He gave Kaylee a little gentle push towards Simon, who put his hands on her shoulders.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come back…"

Zoë arched an eyebrow at him. "Sir I will order Jayne to shoot you if you say that again."

Jayne grinned and lifted the shotgun. "I ain't shot myself anyone for a while, what with the layin' low and such."

Mal put his hands out, palms towards the madman with the gun. "Alright Jayne."

"Where were you?" Wash says curiously.

"Hooked up with Monty for a while. Roamed about. Laid low. You lot are hard to find." He shrugs helplessly. "But that's a story for another time."

Kaylee tilted her head back against Simon's chest and felt safe, happy, for the first time in six years. She'd found the two men who meant the most to her.

River whirled around the blackened cargo bay in a happy dance. "Told you Simon, I told you. Family. All together again!" She grinned at Jayne who lowered the gun.

Zoë nodded to Mal. "Any orders sir?"

"How come you never called me Sir?" Wash grumbled.

"_Mal -- you don't have to die alone."_

"_Everybody dies alone."_

_He stared at the control console on the bridge. His hands were slick with blood on the controls. What did Wash press? Oh yeah those three switches up on the right. He flicked them. _

_He swiped a hand across his face in a vain attempt to stop the blood obscuring his vision as it dripped into his eye._

_Mal's head was spinning from the blood loss. 'Not gonna pass out', he swore to himself and pulled the tourniquet tighter around his thigh. Got to live. _

_Finally Serenity was going. He was free. But at what cost? He put his hands over his eyes and breathed deeply. His crew…his friends…his family…all gone. He thought about the last times he had seen all of them. Bleeding and scared. He couldn't think of them like that. So he thought about how much he needed them, liked them, loved them…_

_He reached out and touched the plastic dinosaur toys on the console, and remembered Wash calmly piloting the ship, his beloved ship that Wash had loved just as much. The mad Hawaiian shirts. Wash who always had a smart alec remark or joke to lighten the tension. Zoë his second in command, his confident, his best friend…Mal stared out at the black. He needed Zoë. She had always been there to save his skin, hold his hand and pull him onwards. If you can't walk, you crawl, and when you can't do that…you find someone to carry you. Zoë carried me, he thought. Even Jayne with his sarcastic comments and the ever-present threat of betrayal would be a welcome companion right now. With Vera in his hands. Or Book with a few calm words or unwanted prayers. Mal needed them now. And little River – crazy though she was, Mal was fond of her. And Simon. He was a good doctor and a good man. They had a mutual respect. He'd abandoned everything for what he believed. Like Mal had. And he loved Kaylee…his little Kaylee. His baby sister. Oh god where was she? Mal felt tears prickle the back of his eyes, and blinked hard until they went away. _

_And what of Inara? Would she forget him and carry on Companioning as if nothing had changed. She had wanted to leave…did this make it easier? He felt as though his heart was stopping._

_Oh God…his lips started moving first in a silent prayer and then out loud. "Dear God, please watch over them, please protect them from the Reavers. Don't let them die. Not them. Take me instead if someone's gotta die. Don't let them die. Not Kaylee, or Nara, not even Jayne. Not Zoë. She's better than a Reavers death. Please not them. Not any of them. Watch them. Watch me. Help me, God help me." It started as a jumble of words, tumbling out of his mouth in a frenzied jumble. Then a prayer, maybe from Book, maybe even from before Serenity Valley. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I cannot accept. And the wisdom to know the difference. Amen." _

* * *

Translation Notes (for the whole story because I think I forgot on some chapters)

_zhè bìng bù huài_ it's not that bad

_mêilì _beautiful

_wode tìan_ Oh God! (Literally Oh sky!)

_bù kê néng!_ no way!

_Wo ai ni _I love you

_Hwoon dahn _son of a bitch

_shen sheng de gao wan_ holy testicle Tuesday


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